I’m lucky to have days like today. I spent basically the entire day practicing mandolin. There was about an hour put to tasks related to my day job and I did a few house chores but otherwise it was just practicing music interspersed with a few meals. I’m incredibly lucky to have that kind of time for myself.
In past years, I’d be away most weekends skiing, backpacking or bicycling. While I liked having that time outdoors and away from the city, the flip side was that I felt I wasn’t attending to my home life. My list of chores simply grew longer and I’m unsure that my other “home” — my mind — was developing and being maintained. I wonder if I wasn’t constantly trying to escape the city and my unhappiness. Not sure; I was also usually doing those trips with friends and I have fond memories of nearly every trip I’ve ever done.
It’s marvelous how a pursuit in which one feels completely absorbed, like I feel when practicing a musical instrument, can be a total escape without leaving home. Not unlike a meditation retreat, really.
At any rate, I pretty much spent my time as I wanted and that’s a gift. Having the demands of a family might be a gift too. I don’t know. I know people who chafe at the requirements of parenthood and how it takes them away from their personal pursuits. But I’ve also understood that some people feel it makes them complete. At any rate my path has been the chance to develop myself and explore my own interests instead of raising a family.
Maybe that’s today’s evidence of a friendly universe, that we — I, at least — have had the freedom to choose my own path. Sometimes maybe I’ve chosen poorly or I’ve been unsure of what to do, but maybe that’s better than having someone who doesn’t know me choosing my path for me.
Evidence of a friendly universe: the freedom to choose our path.